When Should I Put the Description Into My Book?
She stepped forward, taking a slow, deep breath. The air was piercingly cold. Wind that seemed to come from all directions whipped her long hair around and she shivered, wishing that her thin sweater was warm and windproof. As she looked around her, she took in all the sights of her new home. New York City. She wasn’t ready for this.
Juliette had been forced to move from the warm weather and beautiful beaches of Southern California to the snow and bitter wind of New York. She sighed. Looking up, she dragged her eyes up to the unfamiliar sight of her new apartment.
It was a huge brick building, at least 100 years old. It wasn’t trashed or dirty, like she had imagined, but it wasn’t amazingly luxurious, either. Identical rows of black balconies spanned the entire length of the structure. It made Juliette long to be different, to be unique. Not to be just another black balcony. It made the words build up inside of her, waiting to be spilled onto paper.
Juliette, you see, loved poetry. Whereas most 15 year olds would play video games or watch T.V. when they were bored, Juliet wrote in her journal. She could spend hours writing, scribbling, and jotting away. She loved to create different moods and tones within her poetry. To her, it was a form of art and self-expression.
“Juliette!” a voice behind her called.
She turned to see who it was. “Just a second, Mom!” she yelled back. She glanced again at the apartment building, before spinning around and running away as fast as the snow would allow.
Minutes later, Juliette was dragged into the lobby of her new home. She hated that word. Home. It had taunted her constantly, ever since the first talk of a move.
The elevator, a shiny silver one filled with mirrors and fancy buttons, brought them up to the 7th floor. They unlocked the door.
I’m not sure when to add a description of Juliette. I REALLY really, really want to describe her. Should I start over and begin with the description? Or should I go longer and wait to describe her?
Add it to different places you think work, and see which one you like the most. Its pretty good so far though! Good Luck
In my opinion you should add her description into the story itself like when you said," whipped her long hair around" you should describer the color the texture (wavy, curly, straight, etc.) and describe her clothes or something by saying the elevator was really hot so she started to shed her layers of clothing describing each one. If you want to describe her face talk about how she looks at herself in the mirror in the elevator examining her face saying something like," My face felt so out of place in this frigid city I belonged in California." Your story so far is REALLY GOOD! I hope I helped?